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The Christmas Candle - Saturday Night Live Cast/Emma Stone.mp3
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[00:03.084]Everyone knows the story[00:05.608]Of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ[00:07.973]But this is the story[00:10.046]Of another more powerful Christmas savior[00:14.119]The snow's falling down[00:16.467]It's Christmas time again[00:19.647]A woman has to get a gift[00:21.929]For some girl at work named Jen[00:24.751]She doesn't know what Jen likes[00:27.023]And she doesn't super care[00:29.343]So she goes inside a closet[00:31.790]To see what crap’s in there[00:34.797]In darkness, there's a light[00:37.356]Then suddenly she sees the Christmas savior's here tonight[00:42.532]It's a candle[00:44.846]Light peach candle[00:47.246]Being sitting by a bike pump for a year[00:52.317]She takes the candle[00:54.618]Dusts off the candle[00:57.215]Then wraps it up for Jen and just says, "Here."[01:05.063]Then one day after this[01:07.365]In foggy London town[01:09.839]Two acquaintances are having tea[01:12.420]When one puts a present down[01:15.204]The other says, "Wait, what?[01:17.238]"I mean, I got you something, too."[01:19.941]Then she rummages inside her purse[01:22.539]For some garbage that will do[01:25.055]A hand it settles on[01:27.768]Something that she had just gotten from her boyfriend's mom[01:32.982]It's a candle[01:35.231]That same peach candle[01:37.590]Regifted round the world in just one day[01:42.889]Oh thank you, candle[01:45.217]The one true candle[01:47.820]The candle we all get, then give away[01:53.188]But here's a warning:[01:55.488]When you give a candle, that is all that you need[02:00.233]Don't pair it with a lotion or some lame little cream[02:05.108]A lot of people think two gifts are better than one[02:10.110]But that just makes each gift seem smaller and dumb[02:15.267]So just give the candle[02:17.686]Don't overthink the candle[02:20.122]It's passed to every single woman and most gays[02:25.215]We all get the candle[02:27.696]We all give the candle[02:30.102]That nine-dollar candle[02:32.483]That almost rude candle[02:35.186]We're joined by the candle[02:37.621]It's the gift of having a gift to give away[02:42.891]The gift of having a gift to give away[02:50.371]Thank you, candle
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